I guess the last two posts were just me being a cry baby :) So I figured since I cant sleep after that long ass nap I took this afternoon after school, Id write about some of the exciting new concepts Ive been studying in school.
Okay, so we all know that Im like 30 years from graduating with my B.Ed in Business Marketing Education. Even so, Ive started taking some courses for my Masters degree in Pacific Island Studies (wishful thinking, aye?). But after taking the Consumption in Oceania and the Contemporary Pacific classes, I know that this is an avenue of education that I want to pursue. Teaching has become my dream, and now the idea of teaching in the Pacific or about the Pacific has become my passion.
Having grown up as a "displaced" Samoan in the diaspora, my knowledge of the "Pacific" was limited to Hawaii and whatever my parents and elders told me about Samoa...not to mention whatever I had managed to learn at my many encounters with the Polynesian Cultural Center as tour guide and host. I never really opened my eyes to the many issues that plague our Pacific Island people throughout the region. Coups in the Solomons, Fiji and Papua New Guinea... poor health facilities... devastating legacies of colonialism... culture and language loss... these are just a few of the many problems that occur between our islands.
As a former marketing student, I have always been fascinated by consumption practices. I guess having been in marketing classes, working in retail and sales as well as food service, the amount of money I made depended on how well I could "sell" a product. I always looked at consumerism positively (well duh! telling people what they want to hear buys mama a new pair a shoes!) Yet this course explores the negative aspects of western consumption practices as it pertains to the Pacific. Island nations in Oceania cannot thrive nor support the western style of conspicuous consumption and selfish wasteful consumerism. Where instant gratification reigns supreme and debt is abundant, Americans earn enough to scrape through. We put ourselves through the daily 9 to 5 with hopes of good tax returns or christmas bonuses and the occasional raise so that we might be able to pay off that yacht we put on our Visa or Mastercard before we die. okay, okay....maybe not a yacht but you know what I mean! But what about people in the Pacific who learn to want and desire the same material things? In many cases, these products are not needed in daily life. Objects have become too easily imbued with meaning and given prestige for more than what they are really worth. People (and I mean ANY people- American and Pacific Islander alike) become infatuated and obssessed with brand names and ridiculously fetishize them. Its crazy! You wouldnt have to look far to see the impacts of these concepts in the Pacific.
Okay....maybe Im only writing this because I got my credit card bill today :(
Off to bed. Gotta work all day tomorrow.
My name is Desiree and I am addicted to reckless consumption.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
...cant sleep...
Well what do you know...11:24pm, what should be an end to a very UNproductive night, isnt the end quite yet. I cant sleep. I wish I had someone to talk to. I dont know who. But just anyone. I guess thats when this thing comes in handy. Lots of emotions goin thru me at the moment. Most of em not so good. Just need a good cry I guess. I dont want people in my house to know Im crying. Grandma will think me and Dan are fighting. Dan will get upset because he'll think its his fault when he doesnt think he's done anything wrong. And he hasnt. Im just sad. Cant a girl just be sad once in a while? Without having to justify every tear?
Times like these, I usually like to just sit outside and talk to my dad. Yeah I know...kinda crazy. But it would make me feel better. I could cry and talk really softly so nobody could hear. But I felt better thinking he was there listening. And in the end, I knew what he would say if he were really there. Somehow he would always find a way to make me smile. No matter how much it hurt. And he would make me feel stronger and courageous. Funny how a daddy can make a girl feel, huh? I wish there were somebody else like that now. I know a lot of people who would be willing to listen....but nobody I feel so comfortable with. Nobody who understands me so well.
What a coincidence....my cousin Nee is texting me. Ooh, and Nan is online. I guess I have an angel out there who knows I really needed someone to talk to :)
Times like these, I usually like to just sit outside and talk to my dad. Yeah I know...kinda crazy. But it would make me feel better. I could cry and talk really softly so nobody could hear. But I felt better thinking he was there listening. And in the end, I knew what he would say if he were really there. Somehow he would always find a way to make me smile. No matter how much it hurt. And he would make me feel stronger and courageous. Funny how a daddy can make a girl feel, huh? I wish there were somebody else like that now. I know a lot of people who would be willing to listen....but nobody I feel so comfortable with. Nobody who understands me so well.
What a coincidence....my cousin Nee is texting me. Ooh, and Nan is online. I guess I have an angel out there who knows I really needed someone to talk to :)
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Too Little, Too Late
Why do I put myself through all this torture?
3 weeks left in the semester. 6 projects, 4 finals, and a bunch of late essays. Holy Moses. Its gonna be a long three weeks for me. Plese keep me in your prayers. Also, dont hate me if you try to contact me and I do not reply. Because knowing me, I will be extremely busy with schoolwork, yet 60% of the time will be spent complaining about the schoolwork and resting from migraines. 10% of the time will be strictly THINKING about the task. 8% for execution of the project. and remaining 12% to be spent checking email, writing in here, and whatever nonsense I find important at the moment. Oh yeah, and did I mention Im stupid enough to have 2 jobs?! Why Lord?! Whyyyyyyy??????
Okay enough of that. I think I should go pedal my bike and work on my notes for my essay on Albert Wendt's "Sons for the return home". Yeah like....3 weeks overdue! Nah...you know I lie. The hubby just came home. LoL. PUGI!
3 weeks left in the semester. 6 projects, 4 finals, and a bunch of late essays. Holy Moses. Its gonna be a long three weeks for me. Plese keep me in your prayers. Also, dont hate me if you try to contact me and I do not reply. Because knowing me, I will be extremely busy with schoolwork, yet 60% of the time will be spent complaining about the schoolwork and resting from migraines. 10% of the time will be strictly THINKING about the task. 8% for execution of the project. and remaining 12% to be spent checking email, writing in here, and whatever nonsense I find important at the moment. Oh yeah, and did I mention Im stupid enough to have 2 jobs?! Why Lord?! Whyyyyyyy??????
Okay enough of that. I think I should go pedal my bike and work on my notes for my essay on Albert Wendt's "Sons for the return home". Yeah like....3 weeks overdue! Nah...you know I lie. The hubby just came home. LoL. PUGI!
So EMO!
Yeah I heard a faafafige tell me that. Short for "So Emotional"! LoL.
Okay so Im up early this morning. Went to take Dan to work, had some breakfast and coffee and camping out on the comp to finish up this assignment for my IS 407 class before I head on out to school all the way at UH-Manoa. Its gonna be a long day for me. Four classes back to back. No breaks. From 10:30 to 4:30. Grrr....how I hate tuesdays and thursdays. Oh and as a warning to you, I just had some coffee so dont mind me if I seem to ramble on from subject to farkin subject without making any sense at all.
ANYWAY, back to the point. Instead of going straight into my assignment, I decide to check the web for whatever might spark my interest for a few minutes while I still try to wake up. I check my cousin Nan's blogspot and she's posted a new blog about our beloved grandmother who has passed a few years back. And then the waterworks go into full blast. I cant stop crying. I cant think straight. I dont want to leave my dreamworld of memories. I want to stay in the moment where Im back in Sinamoga on Aunty Paugata's porch sitting next to Mama and holding her hand. With my Daddy next to me. Talking about what Im gonna do for school. I dont want to leave. I can still feel her soft frail hands and I can hear my daddy's voice. I feel safe. Happy. Loved. I wish all time would just stop and I can go back to that moment. I would give my soul to be able to see them again. To have just one more moment.
They were both taken away so abruptly. I never had a chance to say goodbye. No more hugs. No more kisses. No more moments of love.
Rest in Peace Mama and Daddy. You are in my heart forever and always.
Back to reality now.....
Okay so Im up early this morning. Went to take Dan to work, had some breakfast and coffee and camping out on the comp to finish up this assignment for my IS 407 class before I head on out to school all the way at UH-Manoa. Its gonna be a long day for me. Four classes back to back. No breaks. From 10:30 to 4:30. Grrr....how I hate tuesdays and thursdays. Oh and as a warning to you, I just had some coffee so dont mind me if I seem to ramble on from subject to farkin subject without making any sense at all.
ANYWAY, back to the point. Instead of going straight into my assignment, I decide to check the web for whatever might spark my interest for a few minutes while I still try to wake up. I check my cousin Nan's blogspot and she's posted a new blog about our beloved grandmother who has passed a few years back. And then the waterworks go into full blast. I cant stop crying. I cant think straight. I dont want to leave my dreamworld of memories. I want to stay in the moment where Im back in Sinamoga on Aunty Paugata's porch sitting next to Mama and holding her hand. With my Daddy next to me. Talking about what Im gonna do for school. I dont want to leave. I can still feel her soft frail hands and I can hear my daddy's voice. I feel safe. Happy. Loved. I wish all time would just stop and I can go back to that moment. I would give my soul to be able to see them again. To have just one more moment.
They were both taken away so abruptly. I never had a chance to say goodbye. No more hugs. No more kisses. No more moments of love.
Rest in Peace Mama and Daddy. You are in my heart forever and always.
Back to reality now.....
Saturday, April 15, 2006
what color are you?
Some of my cousins took this quiz. Just thought Id see what its all about :) I guess you can say its pretty true. LoL.
Your true color is Brown!
What's Your True Color?
Brought to you by Tickle
You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.
Your true color is Brown!
What's Your True Color?
Brought to you by Tickle
You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Hello
My first blog....
Hmm...what to say, what to say. I guess I onyl signed up for this thing so I can comment on my cousin's pages. LoL. But now that I think about it, its a good way to vent about life's frustrations and bloat about little triumphs here and there.
So I guess I'll just talk about whatever comes to mind right now. At the moment, Im a little upset with my boyfriend. Its no big deal, but he made a comment that I really dont appreciate, so Im ignoring him at the moment. LoL. PLUS....his friends keep calling him every 5 minutes to come drink with them at a BBQ. Sorry bro...no way in hell Im driving you all the way over there to drink with your friends and eat meat on the last friday of Lent. I know Im beyond miracles as far as being "saved from the depths of the firey pits of hell"; but at least let me act like a good catholic girl on the last friday of Lent. LoL. AND, asking to use the car to go somewhere other than school or work is like sacrificing yourself to the sharks. My grandma is one tough bugger. LoL.
For those of you who are privileged enough NOT to know me, all I can say is be GLAD! I live a busy life and have no time for making new friends or hanging out. Unfortunately to say, my life has changed a lot in the past year or so. Im not the same REE that I used to be. I dont party hard, waste my money (well...not as much as I used to! I swear!), have time to just chill and hang out. Im still a fulltime University student (who will prolly NEVER graduate!) and I work two jobs, not to mention still help out at home and obey my grandmother (to a certain extent). I have a lot more responsibilities than someone my age should have. I wish I were still 5 years old! I live with my boyfriend, so thats the only time we get to spend with eachother. On my rare days off or at night when we're both tired as hell.
I have 2 sisters and 3 brothers. 2 nephews. And heaps and heaps of cousins, aunts and uncles and their kids and neighbors and friends and in-laws and co-workers and yada yada yada. Im Samoan. What do you expect? LoL. Nah but, I have a lot of friends and rellies that I hold dear to my heart and love them like brothers and sisters. Wow. Sounds like Im so loving, doesnt it? Yeah right. Just a bunch of words. LoL.
Anyway, this is my blogspot. I gotta go nap before I go to church. I need redemption and salvation, remember?? LoL. Take care people. And remember, these blogs contain simple thoughts and random arguments. So like the heading suggests, BEWARE OF RECKLESS CONSUMPTION!!!
Hmm...what to say, what to say. I guess I onyl signed up for this thing so I can comment on my cousin's pages. LoL. But now that I think about it, its a good way to vent about life's frustrations and bloat about little triumphs here and there.
So I guess I'll just talk about whatever comes to mind right now. At the moment, Im a little upset with my boyfriend. Its no big deal, but he made a comment that I really dont appreciate, so Im ignoring him at the moment. LoL. PLUS....his friends keep calling him every 5 minutes to come drink with them at a BBQ. Sorry bro...no way in hell Im driving you all the way over there to drink with your friends and eat meat on the last friday of Lent. I know Im beyond miracles as far as being "saved from the depths of the firey pits of hell"; but at least let me act like a good catholic girl on the last friday of Lent. LoL. AND, asking to use the car to go somewhere other than school or work is like sacrificing yourself to the sharks. My grandma is one tough bugger. LoL.
For those of you who are privileged enough NOT to know me, all I can say is be GLAD! I live a busy life and have no time for making new friends or hanging out. Unfortunately to say, my life has changed a lot in the past year or so. Im not the same REE that I used to be. I dont party hard, waste my money (well...not as much as I used to! I swear!), have time to just chill and hang out. Im still a fulltime University student (who will prolly NEVER graduate!) and I work two jobs, not to mention still help out at home and obey my grandmother (to a certain extent). I have a lot more responsibilities than someone my age should have. I wish I were still 5 years old! I live with my boyfriend, so thats the only time we get to spend with eachother. On my rare days off or at night when we're both tired as hell.
I have 2 sisters and 3 brothers. 2 nephews. And heaps and heaps of cousins, aunts and uncles and their kids and neighbors and friends and in-laws and co-workers and yada yada yada. Im Samoan. What do you expect? LoL. Nah but, I have a lot of friends and rellies that I hold dear to my heart and love them like brothers and sisters. Wow. Sounds like Im so loving, doesnt it? Yeah right. Just a bunch of words. LoL.
Anyway, this is my blogspot. I gotta go nap before I go to church. I need redemption and salvation, remember?? LoL. Take care people. And remember, these blogs contain simple thoughts and random arguments. So like the heading suggests, BEWARE OF RECKLESS CONSUMPTION!!!
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